It's the Struggle that Hurts

Breaking News:  When you surrender, things tend to work out.

I woke up this morning feeling a little like I'd been run over by a truck.  It's the last few days of sweeps, and the hoops that I have to jump through are just about to undo me.

I have this philosophy towards my job:  bring it, every day.  Sometimes I bring more to the table than others, but most of the time, I have the goal of producing the absolute best newscast I possibly can.  Every. Day.  But there's a prevailing attitude that we as TV news people should bring more during sweeps.  Now, I don't think that your average person would be more likely to watch a newscast in May or February or November, as opposed to any other month of the year...but those are the months we try to grab you so our sales people can tell advertisers that you're watching us and not the competition.

Still, I try to do a good job day in and day out, and honestly, sweeps makes that hard to do.  I've had to try and get real news into an hour long newscast filled with American Idol promotions, Glee give-away live shots and some pretty bad 3 minute long features.

And I've just about killed myself doing it.

I don't mean to whine, but I'm doing it alone.  When I started in this job, there were three people working at producing the 10 O'clock News.  Now there's just me...and an EP who's really a glorified AP.

I've tried to take care of myself, but I've still gotten sick.  I've tried cutting down the coffee, but I still can't sleep.  I've missed my kid's soccer games.  I can't go home for dinner (an hour long reboot for my spirit).

Last night could have been the end (at least for my sanity).  There were so many moving parts to the show that I felt so afraid it would all fall apart.

Then I said a prayer.  I asked God to help me through...and for the serenity I so desperately needed.  I surrendered. And it all came into focus.

I was still a little frenetic, but not as scared.  It all worked out.

So it just goes to show, the pain is in the struggle...surrender and let God take over, and it all works out. 

Funny how that is...